When someone doesn't reply

I hate it. No, actually... I absolutely despise it when someone doesn't reply.

It's always annoying and frustrating when someone you want to talk to doesn't write to you, but I also know that I'm awful at being the one initiating contact, and that it's something I have to work on...
But when I actually do, and the person I wrote to, without a warning, stops replying all of a sudden... God, it pisses me off!
If you're busy, have to go, just plainly don't want to talk to me, whatever; fucking say it! Don't leave me for hours, sometimes even days, awaiting a reply that'll never come. I don't care what your reason is; if you don't tell me this before it's too late, I'm just not going to waste my time fighting for your attention as long as it doesn't seem to be a battle I can win.

No mater how much I care for a person, there' simply a limit to, how many times I can go through that. And that limit is not very high. Eventually, I'll get bored, very plainly, and I won't be contacting the person in question again any time soon. Although, of course I will reply if they do contact me. Anything else would make me quite the hypocrite.

But the hard-to-get/whatever-thing? Doesn't work on me. Not at all. More like it has the complete opposite effect on me, really.
If someone seems annoyed, bothered, bored or just in any way uninterested in my attention, I very quickly lose interest in them. I don't need anyone in my life that doesn't appreciate me. I know it sounds cocky and self-centred and yea, it kinda is. It's not that I think I'm that great or interesting a person, not the tiniest bit.
Nonetheless, I would any time spend more time on the, probably few, people who actually desires my attention and company. These are the people I truly enjoy spending time with.

To put it simply; if someone doesn't seem to have any interest in me, I quickly lose interest in them. It's just not worth my time.
And vice versa, and probably slightly stranger; the more someone seem to like me, the more I tend to like them. I, basically, instinctively repay interest with interest, attention with attention, compassion with compassion, and so on.

At it's core, it's really pretty simple, although I'm not quite certain if it makes much sense.

Anyway, I really just needed to get that off of my chest.


// Chii ♥

2013 resoulutions

 Haven't posted in a while, thought I should, and I wanted to make this anyway. So yeah...

2012 update
Here is the update of my resolution list for the past year.

• Go at least a month without eating my own skin (Too difficult to explain)
• Reach my goal-weight (Big surprise, I want to loose weight)
• Get as many New Year's resolutions as possible done (Every year. Still haven't been able to check, since I'm apparently never satisfied)
• Become better at keeping the promises I give my self (Since 2009)
• Drink more water (Did really good at this through 2010, but last couple of months of 2011 I really failed)
• Learn to get past my creative-blocks (Since 2003)
• Get to dye my hair at least one awesome colour
• Accounting my money income and spending monthly (Already started that)
• Quit being a drama queen and attention whore and just be honest with everyone, including myself
• To be more helpful to others (Mostly my parents)
• Get a job (I've had this since I was 12, and couldn't even work, but there's still no one who wants to hire me anywhere!)
• Be happy!
• Get a SLR camera
• Get a Pullip Papin

I might not have managed to get that many done, but most of the ones I didn't are problems I have been fighting and working on for years, and will probably never be completely satisfied enough with to cross of. So over all, I'm fine with the result.

 Aaaand, now for 2013!

Continuous ones from last year

• Go at least a month without eating my own skin (Too difficult to explain)
• Reach my goal-weight (Big surprise, I want to loose weight)
• Get as many New Year's resolutions as possible done (Every year. Still haven't been able to check, since I'm apparently never satisfied)
• Become better at keeping the promises I give my self (Since 2009)
• Drink more water
• Learn to get past my creative-blocks (Since 2003) 

New ones

• Be happy this year too ♥
• Cosplay more than once
• Get more lolita-clothing
• Do some of the stuff from my summer project list. Many of them were just stuff I wanted to do in general.
• Get my driver's license
•  I finally get to change my name 
• Decide what I'm gonna do about my last name 
•  Get better at keeping my room clean and organized
•  Photograph more